Vanity fair

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Compiled By Nisha Susan

Ladies at the stop: Veena Malik and Neetu Chandra
Ladies at the stop: Veena Malik and Neetu Chandra

All’s fair

Veena Malik is our new favourite person. Having alleged that her former boyfriend, Pakistani cricketer Mohammed Asif, has been involved in match-fixing, Veena is making quick and efficient hay. Her website’s ‘scandals’ section usefully details every murky event she has been involved in. Of course, she is coming to Bollywood. After all, she is an international celebrity now, her publicist says. Across the border, Neetu Chandra’s publicist is working his fatal charms too: ‘Neetu does not know Mohammed Asif. When I showed her his picture, she jumped and said, ‘Oh he is so black!”

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Still Smoking

AISHWARYA RAI SAYS NO, LIGHTS UP

Lady Macbeth, when told that King Duncan has been murdered, responded, ‘What, in our house!’ Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is said to have had the same response when a firang television channel wanted to shoot her at home for a documentary. Now that the deal has not worked out, everyone is free to guess how much money was offered. In other news, sub-editors across India are going nuts with the wordplay possibilities after hearing that Aishwarya will be seen smoking in the upcoming Guzaarish. Puns are occupational hazards but guys, ‘Ash blows the butt’? As Banquo said to Lady Macbeth in the same exchange, ‘Too cruel anywhere’.

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ONE FLEW OVER THE BUGHOUSE

Priyanka Chopra is suddenly the sequel girl. She is most likely going to appear in Race 2 — a cinematic feat that we didn’t think possible until we heard she is appearing in the sequel to Rock On!! Is that enough exclamation marks or does the sequel have some radical new punctuation? Semicolons perhaps. Priyanka, most significantly is going to be the host of the third season of Khatron Ke Khiladi.True, it’s a depressing thought. But cheer up. The previous host Akshay Kumar is going to Master Chef now.

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RAM CHARITA MANAS

It’s been a while since we’ve had any Ram Gopal Varma fun. But the months ahead look promising. There is the epic two-part Rakhta Charitra, of course. But what should be really fun is his movie God and Sex on that YouTube celebritySwami Nityananda. This would be the second film to juice out the ready narrative delights of the sex-romping guru’s life. The first is a Telugu film called Ayyare. Varma promises a ‘hard-hitting, behind-thescenes look at their lives and the industry around them’.

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‘I do not know what size zero is’

Lisa Haydon, Model and Actress

By Suneha Dutta

 

What keeps you motivated?
You have to find things that can inspire you. My character in Aisha was very competitive. At 25, she is the chief executive officer of a company. I do not relate to that kind of ambition. On the contrary, I am pretty chilled out.

Have you ever been criticised for your work?
I haven’t received too much criticism yet. The more successful you are, greater are the chances of getting criticised. Right now, I’m not big enough for people to ridicule me.

At 19, you were financially independent. Do you think you missed out on anything?
It’s about owning your own life. Until I was on my own, I was always under someone else’s jurisdiction. When I started modelling at 19, I got the freedom to choose how I want to live.

You have lived away from your family for the most part of your career. Does that make things difficult?
I have four sisters and three brothers whom I adore. But I’m closest to my mother and share everything with her.

Like many of your colleagues in the modelling world, do you also dream of size zero?
I don’t know what size zero is. In fact, I do not know what size I am (laughs). I know many women — models and friends — who want to become really thin. They crash diet and exercise but never end up becoming size zero because their body structures do not support it.

Do you worry about getting typecast because you don’t know Hindi?
Not really. But I’m not going to play the role of a village girl. Neither will I be happy playing ‘hot chick’ all the time. Some people believe having a dusky complexion has its drawbacks. I did feel bad when I heard such things. People would have opinions, but I’m not bothered anymore.

An embarrassing moment?
Two years ago, a model and I wore the same dress for a party. We thought the media would rip us apart but thankfully our faux pas was soon forgotten.

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