Vanity Fair

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Compiled by Nishita Jha

Worth the Weight

 Arjun Kapoor
Thin lines Arjun Kapoor , Photo: Yogen Shah

If the first look of Ishaqzaade is anything to go by, the film has got a lot going for it. Director Aditya Chopra may have found his storytelling mojo, Parineeti Chopra is promising as the tough girl and the dialogues are edgy enough to throw some weight behind that punch. We did, however, need a second look to register any of this because the rakishly handsome Arjun Kapoor… hmm, sorry, where were we? Sonam Kapoor’s formerly round cousin has new, hard-won angles and they’re even more compelling than Sonam’s curves. This though, is the umpteenth fat to fab story we’ve heard of late, and it must be asked — what do Bollywood families feed their kids?

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From hero To zero?

Mahie GillIt has to be said, we weep a little every time a talented actress decides that the sum total of her talent is how great she looks in a bikini. The latest to worry about tan lines and washboard abs is the brilliant Mahie Gill, who will be playing Mona Darling in the remake of Zanjeer. The two words we do not want to hear when speaking of Gill are — size zero. Do us all a favour and keep it real, Mahie. Let us pray to the gods of no-carbs and orange juice diets to spare Mahie the humiliation, and let us see some real meat. Referring to her histrionic skills, of course.

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When Reality Fades

Veena Malik
Photo: AFP

Veena Malik has a calling and she answers only to the higher authority of reality television. The complex love games on Bigg Boss were her initiation to the faith. Her trial by fire was the heart-rending, possibly even heartfelt, defence against an irate maulvi on TV. And now, with director Anand Balraj comparing her acting abilities to Angelina Jolie’s, we have the beginnings of her sainthood. Balraj also claimed that Malik is far more attractive than the Hollywood actor. While he’s drafting this mythology, maybe he can write himself into Malik’s Swayamvar?

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Itemise This

Ram Gopal Varma
Ram Gopal Varma

When we heard that Ekta Kapoor’s latest film, Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum, was rejected 19 times by the Censor Board, we had serious concerns about surviving a botched cut of a wannabe sex romp. Turns out Big Brother was actually looking out for us. In a recent interview, Tusshar Kapoor said that he and co-actor Riteish Deshmukh are ‘item boys’ in the film’s title song. If the Censor Board has spared us that vision, we’ll overlook other questionable decisions.

‘Amitji’s acting is a notch above sexual pleasure’
Ram Gopal Varma 
(Revisiting Nishabd and taking the term fanboy to new lows)

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