Vanity Fair

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TWICE-TOLD TALE

The horror that was Sanjay Gadhvi’s Kidnap has barely faded from our memory and we hear Imran Khan has signed another movie with Gadhvi. Oh Imran! What compromising letters written in your distinctive hand does Gadhvi have on you? Agreed you don’t have Minissha Lamba to make us cringe all over again. But 7 days in Paris with Katrina Kaif sounds like it could be just another aspirational NRI movie. Worse, it sounds like an aspirational Akshay Kumar movie. Is this really the future you had in mind?

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No nudes is
good nudes
Neetu Chandra and
Maradona Rebello

ZIPLESS LUCK

Do you wish our stars would take all their clothes off and be done with it? The assault on our morality could not be as bad as the boredom we have to endure each time someone peels off a little. The censors disapproved of Maradona Rebello being nude before his (on-screen) mother in Pankh. But he reassures us that he asked his (real) parents permission before stripping. Also, this week Neetu Chandra got a lot of mileage for faking girl-on-girl action in a bikini for a magazine. Did the MNS really object to her or not, we don’t know. How were swimsuit spreads publicised before our politicians helped out, we don’t know. But someone should have ensured Neetu didn’t look like she was performing the Heimlich Maneuver on the other girl.

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FUNNY BOY

If we must be excited about young men of vaguely Indian origin making it, why bother with Dev Patel? Why not focus your dilating pupils on Aasif Mandvi, who has also been cast (alongside Patel) in Manoj Night Shyamalan’s fantasy The Last Airbender. Older than Patel and far less gormless, Mandvi has been a happy and wicked camper in The Daily Show, the satirical fake news show hosted by Jon Stewart. And for a long while now he’s been in the movies! Hurrah.

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TITILLATIONS

Ram Gopal Varma promises to skewer the Indian media in Rann. Good luck to him, Rituparno Ghosh probably concurs. A leading daily tenaciously pursued poor Ghosh this week, asking him why he had “visible breasts”. To these enquirers after truth we would suggest that they can sight breasts far more easily on Bollywood’s leading men — not camp, slender Bengali directors.

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