The half-hearted heroes

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The Plot
The fourth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor is loosely based on the story of the Norse god. Thor’s warrior ego makes him attack the frost giants, putting Asgard under threat. Thor is banished to Earth. And the scheming Loki, whose daddy issues are actually responsible for the situation, becomes the king when father Odin falls into Odinsleep. Thor loses power and falls in love with Jane Foster, a human. The rest of the film is about how he becomes a true king, gets his power and his hammer back, and protects Asgard.

By Mona J

THOR
DIRECTOR
Kenneth Branagh
STARRING
Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins

-7 Because the friggin’ frost giant looks like a B-movie gargoyle had a baby with a Na’avi. Plus five for the frozen cold killings, though.

-4 For the same old otherworld, which, like all of them, looks like mutated New Zealand. Plus two for the rainbow bridge, though.

+2 For the perfect comicbook childhood sequence. And plus five for the suit because a killer costume is all that this Thor has to win the moviegoers over.

-10 For “Madness? This is Jotunheim…” That line could have worked only once. And Leonidas nailed it.

+10 For the hammerwork. Awesome chops, brah! Plus two for the perfect flying posture.

+3 For Natalie Portman. Minus six because her character is too retro to be in a story set in 2011. Look at Kirsten Dunst inSpiderman!

+6 For Kat Dennings. And minus three for not using Stellan Skarsgård. At all.

+5 Because when gods go crazy, you can always sedate them!

+3 To our favourite S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Clark Gregg. Plus two because hell yeah, a warrior god was trained in Afghanistan!

+2 For the KLP-hammer. Sorry Thor, but your hammer’s just not that into you.

-7 For Loki. Too Depp-ish. Like a cross between Willy Wonka and Edward Scissorhands.

+3 Because Stark never tells S.H.I.E.L.D. anything. Only plus one for the scene after the rolling credits.

-10 For having no real yay moments in a superhero movie. Dear Marvel, where is that magic from the first Iron Man movie?

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