Being You: Relationships – The confusion to surrender

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It was one of my frequent visits to my doctor when she once again failed to diagnose me. Perplexed, she wanted to make the moment lighter by cracking medical jokes. And she said, “You know what Yashica, the stomach is the most complex part of our body. Our professors told us we need to examine many angles while dealing with this mysterious belly. It’s very hard to diagnose it.”

“Oh! And how foolish am I. All my life I have been thinking it’s the HEART which is the hardest part to unzip!”  I said.

The doctor laughed. I didn’t.

It’s all about perception here. She was talking on medical grounds and I was talking based on human behavior patterns.

It’s all about perception here. She was talking on medical grounds and I was talking based on human behavior patterns.

SAME HAPPENS IN RELATIONSHIPS

For you, your relation may be a very important part of your life but for the other party it may be a regular routine affair which can be adjusted or accommodated according to his/her routine. In this ambitious world, people rarely talk about feelings, but when they do, they just complain, don’t they?  How many times in life have you found a couple enjoying a real happiness? How many times have we checked for the availability of true friendship? The answer is NEVER or RARE. The reason here is loud and clear. Ambition, stress, career, daily struggle, chaotic situations and time management. These factors always get an upper hand in overpowering your emotions and feelings. Love and feelings take a back seat in your life.

Initially, you won’t feel any gap in your relations but then there comes a time when you realize that there is big VOID in your life. Alas! the vacuum has already been created.

“Sometimes the smallest feelings  of the day become the heaviest feelings of your lifetime”

Now, you have everything you were running after- Money, Fame and Career but you still feel empty from inside. It’s the time you realize that it was not routine affairs which always kept you occupied but your lack of effort towards your loved ones. The reason was much bigger. It was your ego, your expectations, your own likes and dislikes. When you were so engrossed in your own choices and likes that the question of balancing the relationships didn’t arise at all. It wasn’t that you couldn’t invest time in your relation. It was that you never made a conscious effort and took things for granted. You may still be living with your partner, you may still be in touch with your friends, you may still be in a love affair but there won’t be any emotional connection.

MAKE A CONSCIOUS ERomantic-Love-Couple-Sunset-Beach-HD-WallpaperFFORT

There are times in life when we all become fickle and irresponsible but that doesn’t mean there is no recovery. There is. It’s always there.  We just need to consciously change ourselves. You need to get alarmed when your relations start depending upon your convenience rather than need.

Terminate this CONVENIENCE  FACTOR immediately.

You need to understand that the moment you stepped in a relationship your choice to choose halted at that very same time. Either you are IN or OUT. There is no midway. And this is a very natural phenomenon which you shouldn’t fight against. You just need to flow with it. You need to delete “Y” from “Your”  to make it “OUR”.

Isn’t it simple? So, are the relationships. Make them simple. Flow with them. Drop your likes and dislikes and see how gracefully you live with your loved ones.

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 Though the writer has been assigned to write her next column on your problems, behold; she herself has yet to come out of her ‘Convenience Factor’. Let your problems drop into her mailbox.

yashica.jalhotra@tehelka.com