My mum used to say i should’ve been a girl’

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Ashmit PatelAshmit Patel, Actor

What’s your earliest memory?
I remember I was really introverted as a kid and my mum used to tease me about it. I would get affected by everything and start crying. She would tell me that I should’ve been a girl given how emotional I was and that Amisha should’ve been a guy.

How has your family influenced you?
We’re a very tight-knit family – mum, dad, my grandmother, my sister, our maid, who passed away recently, and me. Like any kid, my family is the biggest influence on me and I’m everything I am because of them. Amisha and I are very close. Our mum’s a housewife and she took extreme care of every little detail of our lives while we were growing up. She made sure that Amisha was involved in all sorts of cultural things and that I was involved in sports and stuff. She ingrained that discipline in us very early. Dad, the businessman, was the breadwinner. He was a very loving and doting father.

What’s your take on love and marriage?
I don’t know if, at the moment, I believe in the institution. I haven’t found a woman I want to marry yet. Friends tell me I’ll know when I meet her and then I’ll believe in marriage. I suppose, to make that commitment, even if it’s in your head and not on a piece of paper, is what I consider marriage. Love, on the other hand, comes and goes.

What do you dislike about yourself?
It would make life much easier if I could say no to people. I wouldn’t get hurt so often.

What does success mean to you?
Success is happiness, if you’re happy, you’re successful. If people start comparing me to Shah Rukh Khan or Salman Khan, of course I’m going to look unsuccessful. How do you quantify success? I think I’m successful – I’m happy. There are many things that could make you unhappy but you have to work on staying positive. For instance, my film was released three days ago and was panned by all critics. It can get very depressing but I’m learning to take the lows in the same spirit as you would take the highs. And that’s the key I think.

When the Riya Sen MMS was leaked, people accused you of pulling a publicity stunt.
I don’t have to clarify anything. I wasn’t the only person involved, so I chose not to react. People can get really creative. It’s retarded to think anyone would do that. What’s sick is that the people saying these things were the ones who were watching it.

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