Fadnavis and His Experiments with the Cow




Dear Chief Minister,

Firstly hearty congratulations on welcoming a new pet in your official residence. One must laud you for going against the popular tide of adopting dogs and cats, to bring home a cow. But how a bovine accustomed to the bucolic setting of a village in Latur district would adjust to the plush, concretized shed in your bungalow was perhaps a question that skipped your mind. To give you credit, a little birdie informed us that you “did try” to keep her comfortable before being forced to send her back.

The cow’s refusal to eat anything must have given you a lot of fodder to chew on. Surely the cow shouldn’t have refused to stay put with a Minister responsible for saving her species from wide spread slaughter! You must forgive her, perhaps she was not aware of your noble decision to ban beef in Maharashtra.

Your chief adviser informs us that it may be unlikely that you will try to bring the cow back any time soon. What a pity! Had you been successful in your experiment with the cow, other ministers of your party too could have been directed to adopt one each. Looks like the ‘Each One Adopt One (cow)’ dream will remain unrealized for now.

But there are small mercies to be grateful for. Let’s start by being thankful that the adopted cow who ending up feeling unwell in the process of shifting, did not die in your custody. It would have been an ironical end to say the least. Looking at the bright side, you can always call for another cow to be shifted moo, milk and tail to your abode Varsha.

Getting one, two or a dozen more (cows) to your side of the fence shouldn’t matter, after all their numbers are only set to increase with you preserving their males for posterity. The species should be more than happy to send over some among themselves to their savior. Perhaps, you could try bringing old and infirm bulls of suffering farmers under your fold and actually make a difference!

Then there is a faithful bunch of followers on social media to be thankful for. If it were not for them hailing you for “setting an example”, the scope for more cow experimentations would have fizzled out.

But since you are out accompanying the Prime Minister, we wouldn’t want to scratch open a healing wound. However, we admittedly are curious to see what you will bring away from China to compensate for the sudden departure of your beloved pet. A monkey? A panda? Or perhaps a Chinese cow?


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