Being You: The demon in your head-‘WHAT IF’

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Are you one of those who never felt low, frustrated, barred or alone? Before you answer, let me tell you that it’s just a trap to check how many of you promptly say Yes in order to prove you are Super Human Beings.

The purpose of this lie detection test is to tell you that everybody at one or the other point of time does go through rough time, feel like he is a failure and there is no way out to move further. And, it’s not a shame to accept that. It’s a universal truth. We all get the feeling of being stuck and aimless sometimes. You are not alone if you find yourself suitable for the role of Shakespeare’s prince Hamlet, only to indulge in a soliloquy to lament how unfair your life has been. You are not alone when you feel that plan A stinks and plan B might be worse.

But have you ever wondered why so many people are facing so many problems? Is the world full of problems or are you the one who is the mother of your problems?
Yes, you guessed it right. You are the conspirator.

See, how easy was to find the culprit. You can thank me later for this, as for now, you are going to explore how you have been creating troubles for yourself and for others.
The words echoing in your mind are the reason for everything — good and bad — happenings in your life. Your mind is a machine which keeps on showing you various things which don’t even exist in reality. And the formula which your mind uses to create fear and frustration in your physical body is — infusion of two little vicious words in your blood and the vicious words are ‘What if’.

The trick to keeping your sufferings at bay is to tweak ‘What if’ before it blooms, else they will grow into a monster that has the power to sabotage your life. Let me explain this with an example.

Ankur was studying in a school. One fine day, a peon came in his classroom and while pointing at him, said, “Principal Sahib ne apko bulaya hai.” The only thing that came
to his mind was “What if the principal got to know about my fight in the school. What if he punishes me in front of everybody. What if my parents come to know about it.” While the truth was that his principal wanted to congratulate him for winning the inter-school cricket tournament.

These simple words have the capacity to give birth to many alike thoughts. And before you know it, you are in a vicious circle.

Here is another story when these creepy words ruined a boy’s career.

It was Amit’s first interview and he was fully confident to get the job. But before he could crack his interview, his mind started playing games with him. ‘What if’ banged on him when he was about to enter the interview room.

While he was moving towards the room he started visualising imaginary worries:

What interviewif I am not selected. What if the interview panel doesn’t get satisfied with my answers, What if they don’t like my grades… what if…what If and much more what ifs sucked his confidence and attitude. The closer he got to the room, the more his mind gave birth to fake fears and worries. By the time he was facing the panel, he was blank. He lost the battle in his mind only. While his conscious mind tried hard to get the confidence back but he couldn’t even say ‘Good Morning Sir’ without ­fumbling. Fearfully, he turned back, leaving the interviewers befuddled, who were actually discussing among themselves that Amit can be an asset to their organisation.

 

Amit lost the best job and the company lost an employee who could turn out to be their best resource. So, you see how your own mind can act against you and lietraly force you to do what you never wanted to do.

Stop borrowing fictional worries. Stop being another Amit.

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Yashica Jalhotra was so much involved in ‘What if’ that she ended up thinking ‘what if’ she couldn’t send this article on time and even if it gets published ‘what if’ it rains so heavily that nobody gets the magazine on time. She has just gone out to check on the clouds. Reach her at letters@tehelka.com